One day a couple years ago, a club board member accused me of "having favorites" on the club team. Several other parents nodded their head in agreement. The implication was that this was a terrible thing. At the time, I thought it was terrible thing also.

However, this person was right. I did have favorites. My favorites were those athletes who most intensely did what I asked of them. Those that did, I gave more attention to. I talked to them more. I spent more time teaching them. I also expected more of them.

The implication that was being made by this person was that my favorites got better than the others because they were my favorites, and that was somehow unfair. This person mistook the cause and effect relationship.

The fact is, that the athletes who put more time in, who came to practice ready to learn, ready to listen, ready to act on what they learned, who committed themselves to doing things my way, were the athletes who were going to get more out of the program. And they became my favorites.

As a coach, I have only one thing to offer to an athlete, my attention. Which means that I attend to their needs. This is their reward for good behavior. The consequence of lack of effort, unwillingness or unreadyness to learn, or just plain offensive or disruptive behavior is my inattention to that athlete.

How could it be other than this? If you have three children, and you spend all of your energy working with the one that is badly behaved, what does that tell your other two children? It tells them that to capture your attention, they should behave badly. What we reward, is what we get.

As a coach, I want athletes who are eager to learn, eager to experiment to improve, eager to work hard. I want athletes who come to me to help develop their skills, both mental and physical, and are willing to accept what I have to offer. And I am going to reward that athlete with my attention. In doing so, I encourage others to become like this athlete. If I spent my time with the unwilling, the lazy, the disruptive, I would only be encouraging that behavior.

The link I want to demonstrate is between attention and excellence. Excellence in the sense of achieving all that is possible, and desired. My way of achieving this is to provide my attention to those who "attend" to me. This does of course result in increased performance for those who do so. I am a professional coach, and when I pay attention to an athletes needs, that athlete is going to improve. Over time, it appears that my "favorites" are the better swimmers, that is not the case. The better swimmers, are those that pay attention to what it is that I have to offer, and demonstrate the desire and effort that is needed to succeed, and thus become my favorites.

Take two swimmers. Swimmer #1 demonstrates limited effort at practice and attends practices irregularly. This swimmer will only have limited success for this swimmer will only have limited strength, endurance, and knowledge. I could spend 10 hours giving private instruction but it wouldn’t make a difference unless the skills are used extensively in workouts over an extended period of time. In this case, excess attention would not serve this swimmer’s needs. Swimmer #1’s potential is limited because of his/her behavior, and thus limits the effect I can have. Swimmer #2 attends every practice and demonstrates daily, a strong desire and effort. This swimmer’s success is unlimited. As a coach, it is my job to push athletes to reach their potential. Swimmer #2’s potential will be greatly effected by the attention he/she receives from me. As a professional, I will respond accordingly to meet the needs of this swimmer.

What the board member didn’t realize is that you must have favorites if anyone is to develop in a positive fashion. The coach’s job is to reward those who exhibit positive developmental behaviors. This encourages other to do the same. One may argue that all the swimmers pay the same dues, thus should be treated equally. True, however, not all swimmers demonstrate the same desire or effort. As a coach, my primary reward is when one of my athletes succeeds. When desire and effort lead to success, I get rewarded. When lack of desire or lack of effort leads to an inability to succeed, I am not rewarded. Every swimmer in the pool has the potential to be a swimmer who is eager to learn, improve, work hard, and to develop their skills, thus become successful, thus becomes a "favorite."

Coach Devon

Swim Team of Placentia